'Lil Brother

I woke up this morning thinking about my 22 year old little brother. He'll be coming home from Iraq soon, then he'll even be done with the army. I miss him a lot, and I feel like such a crumby sister. The whole time he was in the army I had wanted to send him a care package, a letter, heck, even an e-mail, but I didn't. There really are reasons why I didn't but they all seem like excuses now. Maybe you wouldn't know it to look at me now, but up until just recently my life was a DISASTER. No Joke. Seems like lately I'm full of shoulda coulda wouldas, and its kinda bugging me about my brother. I love him so much and I don't think he knows it. I had promised him I would send a care package and never did and I think that broke something in our relationship. I breaks my heart to know that I let him down and I don't know if he'll ever forgive me for not being there for him, we used to be so close. I guess all I can do is pray for restoration of the relationship and be open to doing what God wants me to do to fix it. I pray that someday my brother will come to understand that that was because of my lifestyle and that I'm much more dependable now (or at least I'm trying to be).

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